“Love is not effortless. It requires mindful commitment to behave in the best interest of your partner; to make daily deposits into the emotional account of your beloved.” ~Janet Greenwood PhD.

I want to offer you authentic hope that your relationship can start to be turned around and positively transformed, immediately. Sustaining those positive changes requires on-going conscious choices that shift the climate in your relationship so you can re-establish emotional connection, pleasure and relaxed joy with each other. This is where real commitment comes in. It is being committed to doing the emotional and practical work in your relationship, day after day; especially when you are “not in the mood”.

In my twenty-five years as a relationship counselor, it is more typical than not, that couples come to my office in marital conflict or crisis. I am a firm believer that couples make the best progress in turning their relationship around when they enlist the help of a relationship counselor who has had advanced Imago Relationship training and who believes more in marriage than divorce. If simply self- help, marriage classes and seminars worked, we would not have a 50% divorce rate! This Workbook, is not meant as a substitute for working with a relationship counselor.

However, it can be helpful for you in preparation for couples counseling or as an adjunct to your current relationship counseling. For other couples, the Relationship Turnaround Workbook provides a structure and helpful reminder after counseling that helps sustain the positive changes you have made. The Workbook does offer you a selection of some of the best relationship methods used successfully with thousands of couples in my private practice over the past twenty five years.

The first step before starting on the workbook is to check in with yourself and your partner to be sure your intentions are to offer your partner compassionate understanding, emotional safety and commitment to doing the relationship work. Going through the motions will not be enough; just as it is not enough to simply love your partner in your heart. Behaving in the best interest of your partner and marriage is not effortless; it requires a conscious and intentional commitment to do so.

“The commitment to do well and to be well is a lifetime of choices that you make daily.” ~Oprah Winfrey.

I am dedicated to healing relationships and keeping families together. In my opinion, divorce should not be seen as an easy option but rather as a last resort, except in the case of abuse and pathology. My intention is not to evoke guilt in those who have been divorced, but rather to inspire and encourage couples to not give into the fantasy that divorce is a solution to their problems. Couples who are in their second or third marriages, who I see in my private practice, are often some of the most savvy and dedicated clients, who know first hand that love is not enough to keep a relationship intact. They have learned through experience that our childhood wounds will be acted out in any or all of our relationships and the best solution is to turn your current relationship into a healing journey. Through Imago methods, couples learn to turn conflict into an opportunity for connection, intimacy and for healing the inevitable wounds of childhood.

The Relationship Turnaround Workbook offers processes and exercises that have proven to be powerful and effective in helping couples to intentionally create the relationship they desire. Keep in mind that seemingly small shifts in behavior add up to major changes in the climate of your relationship. Transforming your relationship requires both concrete behavior changes as well as a shift in attitude. This combination can quickly move your relationship to a higher level. If you wait to “feel” like being more loving to your partner, you may have a long wait, so just start now, using the following exercises to guide you.