What Is Imago Therapy?
Imago Relationship Therapy has at its theoretical core the premise that we unconsciously are drawn to our partner based on a familiar composite of our childhood caretakers.
Often shortened to Imago therapy, this approach is taught worldwide through Certified Imago Relationship Therapists. Dr. Janet Greenwood is one of them – working online with couples in Sacramento, Fair Oaks, Elk Grove, and nationwide.
The Imago Match
The mother zebra circles the newborn to imprint a pattern for identifying her in the herd – each zebra has a distinct pattern, just like snowflakes. Similarly, humans have imprints of our caretakers, and we select partners based on that familiarity.
People often feel they've known their partner "all my life" because they were drawn to that person as an Imago match. The relationship journey can be healing, but it requires consciousness of original wounds and relationship skills to avoid repeating conflicts.
The Origins of Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago Relationship Therapy grew out of the clinical practice and marriage of Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, in the 1980s. Their central insight was simple and hard to hear: the partner who frustrates us the most is often the one we unconsciously chose – because they carry the pieces that can help us heal the oldest wounds.
Conflict, in this view, isn't the end of a relationship. It's the opening.
Today Imago is practiced in more than fifty countries. Therapists complete a multi-year certification through Imago Relationships International, the organization Hendrix and Hunt founded to train and credential practitioners.
Are You Getting the Love You Want?
Communication problems in relationships often erode the passion and hope that we first feel when we fall in love.
Much of Imago is based on connecting with your partner through a form of dialogue. After you speak, your partner mirrors what you said.
These skills are based on the best-selling book Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, PhD, who developed Imago Relationship Therapy together with his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD.
- Do you love each other, but sometimes feel disconnected and have trouble getting back on track?
- Do you long for the passion and joy of your early days with each other?
- Do you wish to understand each other better?
- Do you desire a deeper emotional connection?
- Do you want more romance and physical intimacy?
How Imago Therapy Works – The Intentional Dialogue
Imago therapy is built around a structured dialogue process that replaces reactive patterns with intentional connection. Unlike approaches that focus primarily on behavioral skills, Imago goes deeper – to the childhood roots of conflict.
That dialogue has a name: the Imago Dialogue, sometimes called the Intentional Dialogue. It's practiced in three steps, in sequence – Mirroring, Validation, Empathy – so that both partners feel fully heard before the conversation moves on.
Mirroring
Your partner reflects back what you've said, ensuring you feel heard and understood before moving forward.
Validation
Your partner acknowledges that your perspective makes sense – even if they see things differently.
Empathy
Your partner imagines what you might be feeling, creating a bridge of emotional connection.
Who Benefits From Imago Therapy
Imago therapy speaks to couples who have felt that something's not quite working – and who are ready to look past the surface. You may recognize yourselves here:
- The same argument keeps coming back, in different outfits
- You're living more like roommates – the warmth has faded into logistics
- An affair or broken trust has put the relationship on the edge
- You're engaged or newly married, and you want to build it right from the start
- Weekly couples therapy didn't stick, and you're ready for something more focused
- Your lives are full – careers, kids, travel – and there's no room for months of appointments
More everyday examples are in the advice for couples library, drawn from Janet's weekly relationship columns.
Finding a Certified Imago Therapist
Not every therapist who says "Imago" has trained in it formally. A Certified Imago Relationship Therapist has completed a multi-year training through Imago Relationships International, including supervised clinical hours and continuing education.
Why it matters: Imago is a structured method. When the dialogue, mirroring, and attachment work are delivered precisely, it moves quickly. When they're delivered loosely, it doesn't move at all.
Dr. Janet Greenwood trained directly with Harville Hendrix, PhD, and has worked exclusively with couples for decades. She works online with couples in Sacramento, Fair Oaks, Elk Grove, and nationwide.
Common Questions About Imago Therapy
What does "Imago" mean?
Imago is Latin for "image." In Imago therapy, it refers to the unconscious image of familiar love we carry from childhood – the composite of traits from our early caretakers that draws us to our partners.
How is Imago therapy different from other couples therapy?
While many approaches focus on communication skills or behavior change, Imago goes to the root – the childhood wounds that drive reactive patterns. Through structured dialogue (mirroring, validation, empathy), couples learn to see each other's pain rather than react to it.
Can Imago therapy help after an affair?
Yes. Many couples come to Imago therapy during or after a crisis such as infidelity. The structured dialogue process creates a safe space for both partners to be heard, and the deeper work of understanding what led to the rupture opens a path to genuine repair.
How much does Imago therapy cost?
It depends on the format. Dr. Greenwood's 2-Day 12 hour Imago Couples Intensive is $4,000 for 12 hours of focused, private work – roughly the equivalent of months of weekly therapy. She also takes individual couples therapy clients; learn more about ongoing therapy sessions.
Is Imago therapy evidence-based?
Yes. Imago is one of the most studied couples-therapy frameworks in modern practice. Research shows improvements in relationship satisfaction, conflict resolution, and emotional safety. It integrates well with other evidence-based approaches, including the Gottman Method and attachment-based therapy.
A personal invitation from Dr. Janet
Experience Imago Therapy
Imago therapy teaches a new way to love. Dr. Greenwood offers a complimentary phone assessment to discuss what the right next step looks like for you.