Time and Expectations
My wife doesn’t seem to
have time for me anymore. We’re both
trying to make our relationship work because it’s the second marriage for each
of us. When we married two years ago, I
thought we both wanted to travel and spend as much time together as
possible. I hardly ever see her. She’s always working and seems to love
it. What should I do?
expectations are not met, disappointment follows. Clearly the expectations you had for your
married lifestyle are not working out according to plan, and it is natural for
you to feel disappointed and/or angry.
It certainly sounds as though you and your wife need to talk openly
about each of your original hopes for your life together and see what has
changed along the way. Many times, work
becomes an escape and a way to avoid or deny problems. It would seem important to explore what she
is getting from working so much.
Fortunately, you are addressing your disappointment and concern early,
rather than sweeping it under the rug. The
following are points you and your wife may want to discuss as you work together
to clarify what each of you wants from the other at this time.
were the expectations you each originally held regarding time spent together
and time spent apart after marriage?
that has changed, when did it change?
does each of you feel about the quality of the time you now spend together?
picture do you each have in mind of how you would like to see your life in one
similar or different are you mental pictures?
Are there common goals? If so,
what is each of you going to contribute toward positive change?