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Imago Relationship Therapy

Pre-Marital - Marriage Enrichment - Divorce Prevention

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Dr. Janet Greenwoods
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The Relationship Turnaround
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Featured Article

ACA Marriage
Anger and Rage
Argue Less
Avoiding Ruts
Beyond the Honeymoon
Constructive Arguing
Differing Sexual Appetites
Increasing Communication
Intentional Joy
Intimacy Checkup
Lies in Marriage
Nurturing a Marriage
Overachieving Husband
Parent-Child Communication
Parenting Differences
Power Struggle
Quality Time with Children
Religious Differences
Sharing Feelings
Superwoman Stress
Teen Parent Relationships
Time Expectations
Understanding vs Agreement
Working Wife
Recommended Relationship Books
A Garland of Love: Daily Reflections on the Meaning of Love

As refreshing as a Spring-time breeze, the author has compiled a beautiful book with daily reflections on the many facets of love in our lives. I have used her sections on a daily basis, by lightly contemplating on the current day's theme. Inner silence and focus on her poetic descriptions has often revealed to me, some amazing and incandescent insights! It has a remarkable healing effect that goes deep into our very essence as Soul.

Beyond The Myth of Marital Happiness: How Embracing the Virtues of Loyalty, Generosity, Justice, and Courage Can Strengthen Your Relationship

According to psychologist Blaine Fowers, the myth of marital happiness-that good communication, emotional gratification, and intimacy result in a healthy relationship-has made marriages more fragile than ever before and we must let it go. Does this mean that we should give up on love, satisfaction, intimacy, emotional support, good communication, and good sex in marriage? That marriage must be continued solely on the basis of grim commitment? That no one should divorce? Not at all. Instead, Dr. Fowers shows how we can re-envision marriage as a wonderful opportunity to practice the virtues of friendship, loyalty, generosity, and justice in the shared pursuit of our deepest ideals.

Divorce Busting : A Step-By-Step Approach To Making Your Marriage Loving Again

With a 50 percent divorce rate in the United States, this is a welcome guide to keeping marriages intact. Weiner-Davis employs solution-oriented brief therapy (SBT) to solve immediate marriage problems.  Weiner-Davis uses very concrete, basic information to work on present and future issues. Remembering and focusing discussions on what worked in a relationship instead of what went wrong is an important element for a positive outcome in SBT. There are some easy answers presented, such as flipping a coin to end disputes or limiting time spent discussing a certain subject. Relationships do not turn around overnight, but a hug or dinner out are small changes for the better.

Divorce Proofing Your Marriage: 10 Lies That Lead to Divorce and 10 Truths That Will Stop It

The world does not need another divorce statistic! Here is a heavy-hitter book that exposes the enemy's plan to destroy families. Find out the ten lies that devastate marriages and how relationships can be restored and revived. Dr. Linda Mintle mixes biblical insight, wisdom and 26 years of counseling experience as she unlocks the door for reconciliation and improved communication. Whether you've been married for a short time or a lifetime, here are some powerful "secrets" that will prevent your relationship from becoming another casualty.

The DNA of Parent-Teen Relationships: Discover the Key to Your Teen's Heart (Focus on the Family)

What's the key to a teen's heart? And how can parents prepare their son or daughter for life as a successful, solid Christian adult? Find out in The DNA of ParentTeen Relationships: Discover the Key to Your Teen's Heart. Written by bestselling authors Gary Smalley and his son Greg, it focuses on the key element that will make any relationship great, as well as how to create a safe atmosphere for transparency. Along with humorous glimpses into what it was like "growing up Smalley," you'll get practical steps to building a rewarding relationship with your teen.

The DNA of Relationships
A religious teacher and author of more than forty books uses social science methods to understand what helps married couples handle conflict effectively. He notes that unproductive communication has a pattern that married couples repeat as a matter of habit. Once individuals recognize their contribution to the pattern, they can choose to communicate at a higher level and with more love and commitment. The author's insights show how faulty values, needs, and communication styles repeat themselves in our relationships, disappointing us with the same unsatisfying results again and again.
Family First:  Your Step-By-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family

There apparently is no bottom to the well of intelligent advice that appears in Dr. Phil's books. With the earnestness and vigor we hear on his TV show, he lays out a bulletproof defense of the importance of the family in preparing children for life in an X-rated world. He writes kindly but firmly to parents who make excuses when they can't find the courage they need to provide good moral structure. The advice about getting professional help is especially practical so that by the end of the book you know your family's problems are not unique or hopeless. For readers who want to reel in their children and need a strong celebrity push to get the process going.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

What's going on in a man's mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man's rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn's research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women's eyes to what the men in their life - boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons - are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they're afraid to "freak out" the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."

As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship."

The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to ask Before You Say I Do

Thought-provoking questions that challenge and inspire couples to build a lasting, intimate relationship.  The Hard Questions should be required reading for engaged couples, newlyweds, and those in long-term relationships. It is a simple yet profound tool that will challenge and inspire couples to gain a deeper understanding of each other and build a lasting, intimate relationship.

"This book of hard questions and exercises for couples is innovative and exciting." --Andrew Weil, M.D.

His Needs, Her NeedsBuilding an affair-proof marriage

For the past fifteen years, Dr. Harley has used this book to teach couples what's most important in marriage-how to fall in love and stay in love. Now, with more than a million copies and twelve translations of His Needs, Her Needs in print, he shares the story behind the book and continues to offer readers a practical plan for creating and sustaining a passionate marriage.

His Needs, Her Needs for Parents: Keeping Romance Alive

This book is great for many first time parents. It's hard to believe that children can be a threat to a marriage but it's true. It's not so much that children cause problems but they create situations where choices have to be made. When couples disagree on the choices it can lead to cracks in the relationship. In this book, Harley gives a roadmap to the land mines of the early childhood years.

InspirationYour Ultimate Calling
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer explains how we’ve chosen to enter this world of particles and form. From our place of origin, in ways that we don’t readily comprehend now, we knew what we were coming here to accomplish, and we participated in setting this life process in motion. So why not think this same way? Why put the responsibility or blame on any one or any thing that’s not a part of us? On Earth we have the capacity of volition—we can choose—so let’s assume that we had the same capacity when we resided in the spiritual realm. We chose our physical body, and we chose the parents we needed for the trip. It doesn’t seem too great a stretch to move into the idea that we chose this life in concert with our Source.

        Each chapter in this book is filled with specifics for living an inspired life. From a very personal viewpoint, Wayne Dyer offers a blueprint through the world of spirit to inspiration, your ultimate calling.

Journey To The Heart: Daily meditations on the path to freeing your soul

Writing with same warmth, honesty, and compassion that has attracted such a loyal following, Melody Beattie now charts a new path toward spiritual growth and renewal. In 365 insightful and delightfully warm daily reflections, Journey to the Heart will comfort and inspire us all as we begin to discover our true purpose in the world and learn to connect even more deeply with ourselves, the creative force, and the magic and mystery in the world around and within us.

Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters

McGraw first forces you to take a good hard look at who you are by dissecting your personality. It may be painful to realize that you fall into the "Porcupine" or "Perfecto" or any of the other personality types McGraw delineates, but here it's true that there's no gain without pain, because (Life Law No. 4) "You Can't Change What You Don't Acknowledge." He then describes in depth all 10 "Life Laws"--the rules by which the world plays--that he learned the hard way. Laws such as "You Either Get It, or You Don't," "Life Is Managed; It Is Not Cured," and "You Have to Name It to Claim It" make up the bulk of the book and McGraw's realist philosophy.

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs
Discover the Single Greatest Secret to a Successful Marriage.
Psychological studies affirm it, and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It's the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.
Love Is A Decision

In this practical book, family counselor and best-selling author Gary Smalley, with John Trent, reveals a simple yet profound plan for a marriage of depth, warmth, and excitement. Guide your marriage for a lifetime by learning how to make your spouse feel truly honored, keep courtship alive, rebuild trust, and become best friends with your family. According to Smalley, good marriages are no accident. And deciding to love-in the practical ways outlined here-can result in relationships that are tougher than tough times.

NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

Refusing to pander to audiences expecting quick fixes, Glass (who has appeared on Oprah herself) chooses "a new, fact-based, scientifically and therapeutically responsible approach" to a subject she contends is fraught with public and professional misconceptions. Drawing on research studies (her own and others') and clinical cases from her 25 years as a psychotherapist, she explores "the new crisis of infidelity" resulting from platonic relationships that become progressively intense. Personal and professional friendships between men and women have become so prevalent and accepted that, according to Glass, even "good" people in "good" marriages can be swept away in a riptide of emotional intimacy more potent than sheer sexual attraction. Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships "safe," repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma.

The One Minute Apology: A Powerful Way to Make Things Better

An enlightening business parable. Presents a concept that, implemented properly, is one of the most powerful actions for improving company and employee moral. Step by step, Blanchard teaches readers how to accept responsibility for their errors and deal with the cause of the damage while maintaining integrity.

The Purpose Driven LifeWhat on Earth am I Here For

The book argues that discerning and living five God-ordained purposes-worship, community, discipleship, ministry and evangelism-is key to effective living. Warren certainly knows his Bible. Of 800-plus footnotes, only 18 don't refer to Christian Scripture. He deliberately works with 15 different Bible translations, leaning heavily on contemporary translations and paraphrases, as an interesting way of plumbing biblical text. The almost exclusively biblical frame of reference stakes out the audience niche for this manual for Christian living. It's practical yet paradoxically abstract, lacking the kind of real-life examples and stories that life-application books usually provide in abundance. This book is not for all, but for those needing a certain kind of scriptural rock, it is solid.

Receiving LoveTransform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved
This groundbreaking book from the best-selling authors of Getting the Love You Want and coauthors of Giving the Love that Heals is the first to address the biggest unexplored issue facing couples today: Most of us are better at giving love than accepting it. We don't realize all the ways that our resistance to appreciation, praise, compliments, and accepting help from others hurts us and cripples our relationships.
Relationship Rescue: A 7-Step Strategy for Reconnecting With Your Partner

Oprah's relationship expert and the author of the hugely popular Life Strategies, McGraw offers a challenge to readers in troubled marriages. With typical frankness, the Dallas psychologist declares that the underlying reason that "your relationship is in trouble [is] because you set it up that way." Traditional relationship counseling doesn't work, McGraw says, so he dares readers to follow his multi-step plan for "reconnecting," which demands honest exploration, through exhaustive self-tests and questionnaires designed to define each partner's needs and expectations. The last step of McGraw's program is probably the most difficult and rewarding: 14 days of structured reconnection exercises in which the partners share their deepest feelings. By participating with the required level of commitment, candor and seriousness, couples would seem to guarantee enhancing their relationships.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

"What is 'effectiveness' in a family?" asks author Steven R. Covey. He promptly answers with four words: "a beautiful family culture." Building this culture is the primary theme of Covey's parenting guide, a manual based on concepts introduced in his blockbuster, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey, a New-Age business guru and leadership authority, has consulted with the world's top corporate and political leaders, but closer to home he is the father of nine children. Here, Covey reinterprets each of his now famous "habits" (Habit 1: Be Proactive, Habit 4: Think Win-Win, Habit 6: Synergize) to apply to parenting and family-life issues. Covey suggests writing a family mission statement, implementing special family times and "one-on-ones," holding regular family meetings, and making the commitment to move from "me" to "we" as techniques to improve family effectiveness.

The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work

John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Smart Couples Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Creating a Rich Future for You and Your Partner

Bach's writing style is engaging and his advice is user-friendly. A successful financial planner, he obviously believes passionately in all the "fringe" benefits of being financially responsible but employs a no-nonsense approach that makes financial smarts available to everyone. So whether you're 25 and just starting out on the earning, saving, and spending road or you plan to retire next year; whether you've recently got hitched for the first time or you've just entered your fourth marriage; and whether financial planning comes first or last on your list of fun things to do, the advice in Smart Couples Finish Rich is worth heeding. It's not about becoming a money-obsessed bore, it's about getting smart... and rich.

1001 Ways To Be Romantic

Gregory J.P. Godek--dubbed America's Romance Coach--offers "1001 creative, sexy, loving tips and ideas" in the fifth anniversary edition of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic. Packed with advice, from "Little Things That Mean a Lot" to "The Mindset of a Romantic" and "Making Beautiful Music Together," Godek's straightforward approach is perfect for those new to romance or those needing a refresher course in the art of love.

The Truth About Love: The Highs, the Lows and How You Can Make It Last Forever

Love, a family and marriage therapist and coauthor of Hot Monogamy, here offers hope to those who feel that the flame of amour has gone out. She explains that all relationships go through predictable patterns and outlines the four up-and-down stages of love: Infatuation, Post-Rapture, Discovery, and Connection. She explains how physiological changes account for some of the intense feelings brought on by initial attraction for example, how phenyl ethylamine, dopamine, and norpinephrine combine to create the natural high new lovers feel that helps them bond. Love goes on to explain that this heady infatuation stage, glorious as it may be, is not what love is really about. She explodes myths that can destroy relationships, such as "If my partner really loved me s/he'd know what I wanted all the time." Other potential problems, as when a couple has different priorities for their relationship, are outlined and addressed.

What Could He Be Thinking?: How a Man's Mind Really Works

"Gurian's research is both fascinating and eye-opening."
- Plain Dealer, Cleveland, OH

"I cannot recommend [this book] highly enough."
- Dave Barry, author of The Book of Guys

"[Gurian] leads the nonscientist to some of the most frustrating sources of conflict between men and women in long-term relationships."
- Reuters

What Your Mother Couldn’t Tell You and Your Father Didn’t Know

The author of bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus proposes that "New skills must be learned if a man is to feel needed and appreciated by his mate.... New skills are required [for a woman] to remain feminine and also be strong." In an easy combination of personal anecdotes from his own marriage and ideas culled from the professional seminars he conducts, Gray delineates the skills he considers necessary to make relationships thrive. According to him, no models exist for today's marriage partners, whose roles are often the reverse of the traditional or are altered by the wife's higher earning power. So Gray explores sexual differences and other potential points of conflict in an approach based on traditional values.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

Psychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams

Bestselling author John T. Molloy delivers a groundbreaking book based on scientific research that shows women how they can improve their chances of getting married. John T. Molloy's research has helped women get ahead in the corporate world for years. In fact, his methods have worked so well that many women began asking how to apply these same techniques to get ahead in their personal lives-specifically to find and marry Mr. Right. This book is the result of over 2000 interviews with married couples and over 1,800 unmarried men and women. Molloy's remarkable study reveals:- exactly what women need to do to make their boyfriends pop the question - the top signs a relationship is bound for the altar-or bound for disaster - how to identify which men are the 'marrying kind' and which definitely are not - and much more.